Sunday, March 8, 2009 . 12:16 AM
Today I went to church very early for Usher leaders' meeting in which I thank God for the opportunity to rise up as an IC of SOUTH!! After the leaders' meeting, went for the whole usher briefing and later our own separate briefing - South and being the IC for the second time I thought I could do better so I was excited!! BUT AS SOON AS THE DOORS OPENED, everything became a mess!!
Well, firstly the south zone was supposedly to be closed and guarded. Also, when the doors open, the ushers are suppose to direct the people down to Alpha, East and West!! BUT APPARENTLY, south being the most wanted zone to sit! The whole congregation INVADED THE ZONE and it all became a BIG MESS!! But in the end, South was opened so now I had to go to every ushers in the zone - South 1, 2 and 3 and inform them that I need to know the status of reserved or if possible empty seats and I gave them 5 minutes BUT in the end, when I came back, THEY WERE NOT EVEN SURE WHEN I ASKED THEM!!
So I told them go and faster do!! But in the end they were SLOW AND NOT PROACTIVE!! Also, I TOLD THEM THAT BY THE END OF PRAISE, GIVE UP RESERVED SEATS!!!! BUT IN THE END, THEY WERE LIKE TOOOO BUSY COUNTING THE SEATS THAT THEY DID NOT EVEN DO WHAT I TOLD THEM!!!!! Also, they should have like the initiative to do that and actually I don't even need to tell them BUT IT WAS A MESS!!
I WAS SOOOO STRESSED TILL I ALMOST BROKE DOWN INTO TEARS thinking that MAYBE I was NOT CAPABLE to become an IC because I did not do my duty as the IC! I EVEN THOUGHT THAT MAYBE I SHOULD JUST BE AN USHER! Then after the service, I had debriefing with Li zhi and I got scolded!! Well, I DESERVED IT!!
Anyway, sorry for lots of CAPS! I really am frustrated with mostly myself and sorry to all ushers because it is actually not your faults. IT should be me for not delivering my instructions properly and also did not exercise my authoritative power as an IC! I did not mean to blame you all for this just pissed off with myself!!
I AM FRUSTRATED WITH MYSELF!!
Father I pray that you would expand my capacity as an IC so that I would be able to exercise my authoritative power and act more as an IC than a RUNNER OR AN USHER!! I pray that you would pour down your wisdom and knowledge so that during the service, I would be able to discern what is happening around me and know what to do in any stressful situation!!